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41514150018102. Routine

We altered our routine today.

So instead of me cooking and preparing right before our meal times, The Hub suggested that I cook all our meals first thing in the morning…and he would be the one to drop the girls off to school.

How’d it go?

Well. It was hard. It was like a kitchen marathon. Prep. Clean up. Cook. Clean up. By the time I finished cooking, I was sweating and thinking “I can’t do this everyday ๐Ÿ˜ฅ.”

But there was this memorable joy and peace as I cooked and a happy relief after the cooking was done. ๐Ÿค”

So would I do it again?

Probably.


What did I cook?

Tocino. Longanisa. Garlic fried rice. Vinegar sauce. I chopped up some roma tomatoes and sliced a cucumber.

Spinach salad with: mandarins, sweet onion, sliced strawberries and chopped cashews. I dressed the salad with a from-scratch vinegarette.

Garlic-seasoned fried pork steak. Pork steak topping that included sauteรฉd sweet onions with peaches and other seasoning. From-scratch mashed potatoes. Homemade gravy.

Here’s an image of the spread:

With no prep beforehand except the ideas of what I was going to cook, this took me a total of 3 hours (Can you tell what ๐Ÿ‘ฉ๐Ÿปโ€๐Ÿณ-level I’m at? ๐Ÿ˜‰).

And that’s it for my story about routine. I wish you and your home find that optimal routine (if you can and if you need it ๐Ÿ™๐Ÿป).

I acknowledge Creator – without Him/Her/It, nothing is; I acknowledge the Canadian and Treaty 1 Land my Peoples and Elders have been allowed entry and resources to live and prosper; I acknowledge our Elders who made their choices to leave their Motherland, sacrificed many aspects of their lives told and untold, and aimed to give the next generation better opportunities than what they had; I acknowledge our various Peers from past and present who taught us lessons, showed us skills, and provided us with good company; I acknowledge the Growing Generation After Us who look to us for guidance, knowledge, and example – may you find, choose, and do what is GOoD.

Imagine I’m holding a drink and you’re holding a drink: ๐Ÿป. ๐Ÿ˜

Jen๐Ÿ•Š๐Ÿ’›๐ŸŒป.

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(14943150018102) Truth

The truth is…

The image above is not mine. I’m not sure how to begin getting the image’s credit so I can properly reference this. The truth is I got this from a correspondence from KAIROS. That’s it.

I find this image quite important because it’s The Seven Teachings that’s being taught in the girls’ school. And when I learned about it (which was when the girls entered school ๐Ÿ˜…), I thought it was good.

And for another truth…

I posted this image because I wanted to try out posting an image onto this blog via my cellphone. And so far so good, I hope.

I have to say/write, I’m starting to get this thought Oh no! No more pointless garbage on the Internet! But I also have to say/write, OH YEAH! More positive expression on the Internet!

And that’s my truth for today. ๐Ÿ˜‰๐Ÿ˜

I acknowledge Creator – without Him/Her/It, nothing is; I acknowledge the Canadian and Treaty 1 Land my peoples and Elders have been allowed entry and resources to live and prosper; I acknowledge our Elders who made their choices to leave their Motherland, sacrificed many aspects of their lives told and untold, and aimed to give the next generation better opportunities than what they had; I acknowledge our various Peers from past and present who taught us lessons, showed us skills, and provided us with good company; I acknowledge the Growing Generation After Us who look to us for guidance, knowledge, and example – may you find, choose, and do what is GOoD.

For another image, here’s this one:

Thanks for reading. ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜š๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿผ

Jen๐Ÿ•Š๐Ÿ’›๐ŸŒป.

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(02313150018102) Cellphone

I am currently typing this post out through my phone.

[Playing: Bigger Than Me – Le’Andria Johnson]

The BZ are in school and the Hub is resting. That leaves me here to do what I love: to write. (Thanks be to Creator).

The cellphone…or my cellphone, anyway, is an extention of myself. In the act of writing – or in this case, typing – the cellphone gives me another way of doing it.

There’s pen to paper. Pencil to paper. Crayon to paper. Marker to paper. There’s ink to paper. There’s computer keyboard to computer screen. And through this phone, it’s thumbs-on-keyboard to cellphone screen.

Isn’t it something?!? The options…๐Ÿ’ญ

Before today, the ways I’ve posted on this site include:

  • typing content out onto a word processor, then copying and pasting it onto the site;
  • writing content out on to paper, transcribing content onto the computer’s word processor, then pasting onto the site;
  • NOW this way – straight onto the site via my cellphone.

I realize there are the good and bad to everything I do. Some thoughts that are coming up include:

  • There’s less time for you to double check.
  • The process of posting is a helluva lot simpler.
  • The possibilities… ๐Ÿค“๐Ÿคค๐Ÿ˜.

Anyway:

I acknowledge Creator – without Him/Her/It, nothing is; I acknowledge the Canadian and Treaty 1 Land I and my Peoples have been allowed entry and resources to live and prosper; I acknowledge our Elders who made their choices to leave their Motherland, sacrificed many aspects of their lives told and untold, and aimed to give the next generation better opportunities than they had; I acknowledge our various Peers from past and present who taught us lessons, showed us skills, and provided us with good comapny; I acknowledge the Growing Generations After Us who look to us for guidance, knowledge, and example – may you find, choose, and do what is GOoD.

How was this one, Dear Reader, for my first cellphone blog post?

Jen๐Ÿ•Š๐Ÿ’›โ˜€๏ธ.

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(71813130018102) God’s Deed

The dark says “Oh, you mean, God’s dead.”

I realize it’s there. But you know, just like a teacher responsible for a class of 20-something children, with that one child who seems to always have a joke or comment or a retort (is that a word?) of sorts, I’m learning that the dark side, or that unruly kid has a story he/she is covering up or a critical need that wasn’t met long ago.

So, dark side – God is NOT DEAD, but FULLY AND ACTIVELY LIVING. RIGHT NOW… as
I write this and as the snow falls on the ground outside. CREATOR LIVES.

Back to the subject matter: God’s Deed.

I was compelled to cook some palabok today. Palabok is the more fun counterpart of the famous filipino pancit. I write this because palabok IS a lot more fun. It has more colour. It has less veggies (I still like the veggies but sometimes salt and MSG and fats and meats are just SOOOO GOOOOOD).

[Playing: Don’t Apologize – Cheryl Fortune]

It has meats. It has seafood. It has eggs. Green onion. And…CHICHARON. Oh, squeeze the juice of kalamansi on top. And then to drink…the good ol’ Coca-Cola.

My mouth’s watering…and I already had two bowls of it!

You see what I mean? Palabok is a lot more fun. (I do have to say though – If you’ve got a list of allergies or dietary restrictions, palabok may not be the FUN for you)

[Playing: Never Alone – Tori Kelly]

Okay, let’s try this again: God’s Deed.

I’m not sure if you’ve read or guessed about the ever-growing distance that’s formed between my dad and I. But it’s there. Or more like… we operate (a lot of the times) on different wavelengths. Or… I speak a language and he speaks a different one… a language that was my life growing up but now realize (as an adult) that there’s some parts of that language that needs to … improve.

Despite this chasm, different wavelengths, different language (however you want to call it), I was given the task of packing some of the AWESOME palabok I made for lunch, and drop it off to my dad at his place of employment.

I tell you, Dear Reader, I was battling myself the entire time after I was graced with this task.

But I did it anyway. A white plastic bag containing: a green-lid tupperware containing the palabok, a sticky note that read “Have a Good Day, Dad,” a snack-bag filled with crushed chicharon, a can of Coke, a small bottle of water, and a napkin-wrapped fork – dropped off to my dad’s place of employment. (I could go on and on about that exchange, but I’ll save you the details).

It was the simplest and hardest task.

And I’m glad I did it.

[Playing: Only You – Bad Boy Remix — 112 ft. The Notorious B.I.G. & Mase]

I do have to admit, though, I balled like a fucking baby on my drive from my Dad’s place of employment to the girls’ school. I was trying really hard to keep it in.. and not to ruin my makeup.

But I just let it go.. opened the emotional dam.

How did it feel after?

Necessary.

After I was able to compose myself… or more like notice the song that was playing as I made that Northbound turn from Burrows to McPhillips, I chuckled…

A piece of Art by Jessica Reedy was playing:

[Playing: Put It On The Altar – Jessica Reedy].

God’s got a Supreme Sense of Humour. Trust me.

I think I’ll leave it at that.

I acknowledge Creator – without Him/Her/It, nothing is; I acknowledge the Canadian and Treaty 1 soil I and my people have been allowed entry and resources to live and prosper; I acknowledge our Elders who made their choices to leave their Motherland, sacrificed many aspects of their lives told and untold, and aimed to give the next generation better opportunities than they had; I acknowledge our various Peers from past and present who have taught us lessons, shown us skills, and provided us with Good Company; I acknowledge the growing generations after us who look to us for guidance, knowledge, and example – may you find and do what is GOoD.

Thanks for Reading, Dear Reader.

Jen.
[dove][yellow heart][yellow sun]

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(41453130018102) Red

I was compelled to wear my red overcoat(?) today. Not sure if it’s called an overcoat, actually. I remember getting it, for sure, from a second-hand store a long, long time ago. I just can’t seem to remember if it was The Ruby Slipper on Sargent Avenue or if it was Value Village. I have a feeling it might be the former.

Anyway, I wore that red coat and I had a black pashmina which I used as a make-shift hood, and I also used my blue large umbrella that my Mom had given me a while ago.

You see, sometimes, when I get ready, I ask myself, where am I going? What area will I be in? Is that gang territory? Is it okay if I wear red here? Blue there? Yellow? Purple? (Can you guess where I grew up? ;))

Today was one of those days. But despite the hesitancy, I wore the red anyway. I carried that blue anyway. I also wore a green shirt and a black and beige printed pants.

[Playing: Meant To Be – Bebe Rexha ft. Florida Georgia Line]

You know what else I wore?

My cross.

[Playing: Close (Radio Edit) – Marvin Sapp]

What am I trying to say here? Hmmm…

One should be able to wear red, blue, green, purple, yellow, pink, orange, indigo, magenta without worrying about it too much.

I echo Jordan Peterson’s Rule 1 of 12 Rules for Life: An Antidote to Chaos:

“Stand up straight with your shoulders back”

… and to this, I add:

and wear your colour (whatever that colour is) ๐Ÿ™‚ .

That’s all I got for Red right now.

[Playing: Holy Spirit, You Are Welcome Here – Elevation]

I acknowledge Creator – without Him/Her/It, nothing is; I acknowledge the Canadian and Treaty 1 soil I and my people have been allowed entry and resources to live and prosper; I acknowledge our Elders who made their choices to leave their Motherland, sacrificed many aspects of their lives told and untold, and aimed to give the next generation better opportunities than they had; I acknowledge our various Peers from past and present who have taught us lessons, shown us skills, and provided us with Good Company; I acknowledge the growing generations after us who look to us for guidance, knowledge, and example – may you find, choose, and do what is GOoD.

Hey, you there. Hope you’re doing alright ๐Ÿ™‚ .
Thanks for being here.

Jen.
[dove][yellow heart][yellow sun]

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(25514130018102) Old School

[Playing: School of Old- Live — Run-D.M.C.]

There’s something about that piece of Art… or Expression… that’s so captivating for me.

[Playing: The Good Good – Snoop Lion]

Head bobbing. Hands and arms suddenly getting a life of their own and they’re waving in air like they just don’t care.

It’s old school (or is it old skool?) and it’s GOoD… like The Good Good. ๐Ÿ™‚
On this topic of Old School, I had left a comment on one of my classmates-from-grade-5’s Facebook thanking him for sharing a part of his story in bettering his Self. Grad e 5?!? That’s a long time ago… without doing the math… it’s probably getting closer to 20 years ago…

OR IS IT ALREADY 20 YEARS AGO?!?

The fuck?!? I swear to you, Dear Reader, I’m still negatively affected by some of my experiences from that time… today. Coz to me, when I remember those memories, it feels like it happened just last week.

BUT ALMOST 20 YEARS AGO?!?!

[Playing: Don’t Apologize – Cheryl Fortune]

I get it. And I absolutely can relate. And probably still going through it and probably will still go through it. Getting passed it takes time… and many other … things. ๐Ÿ˜‰

[Playing: Never Alone – Tori Kelly]

I’ve learned that the old school may bring up some really shitty memories and feelings but…in a particular level of being, Old School can be soooooo GOoD.

[Playing: (Insert Best Old Skool Expression that gets you putting your hands in the air like you just don’t care)]

Here’s mine. [Playing: Put Your Hands Up – Fat Man Scoop]

I acknowledge Creator – without Him/Her/It, nothing is; I acknowledge the Canadian and Treaty 1 soil I and my people have been allowed entry and resources to live and prosper; I acknowledge our Elders who made their choices to leave their Motherland, sacrificed many aspects of their lives told and untold, and aimed to give the next generation better opportunities than they had; I acknowledge our various Peers from past and present who have taught us lessons, shown us skills, and provided us with Good Company; I acknowledge the growing generations after us who look to us for guidance, knowledge, and example – may you find, choose, and do what is GOoD.

Thanks for, as the saying goes, kickin’ it wit me (That was fun to write.)

Jen.
[dove][yellow heart][yellow sun]

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(75843120018102) Playlist

Hello Dear Reader. It’s me again.

As you read this, this would have already been in the past.

[playing: Big Poppa – The Notorious B.I.G.]

Where was I going with this again?! Playlist. Yes, that’s right.

I am currently on a 90s/00s Hiphop Club Bangers trip.

[Playing: Get Ur Freak On – Missy Elliot]

I felt it was fitting, since it was Grocery Shopping Day today. Oh! Grocery shopping! I had to make it somehow enjoyable. ๐Ÿ™‚

The playlist is such a vital thing in my life. It’s like flowing goodness that brings life to the Ho-Hum of the day.

[Playing: Love Like This – Faith Evans]

What is it that I want to share with you about playlists, Dear Reader? Hmmm… let me think about that one…

I wonder what a DJ can guess about a person if he/she had access to a person’s current playlist. Can a DJ guess if a person is feeling sad? Scared? Angry? Happy? Sensual? Loving? Spiritual? Can the DJ determine where a person’s at in his or her life if DJ only Playlist Information?

I would definitely be interested in any DJ insight. Hey, Dear Reader, if you’re a DJ or know a DJ and you have nothing else to do with a particular set of time, check out my Spotify playlists “2018.10 LOTM” or “2018.09 LOTM” and lemme know if you can Analyze Me. (There’s no prize or anything… it’s just something for fun.)

[Playing: My Boo – Hitman’s Club Mix — Ghost Town DJs]

Well, I guess that’s it, Dear Reader. What does your playlist say about you? And are you brave enough to expose yourself? ๐Ÿ™‚

I acknowledge Creator – without Him/Her/It nothing is; I acknowledge the Canadian and Treaty 1 soil I and my people have been allowed entry and resources to live and prosper; I acknowledge our Elders who made their choices to leave their Motherland, sacrificed many aspects of their lives told and untold, and aimed to give the next generation better opportunities than they had; I acknowledge our various Peers from past and present who have taught us lessons, shown us skills, and provided us with Good Company; I acknowledge the growing generations after us who look to us for guidance, knowledge, and example – may you find and do what is GOoD.

Until the next one,

Jen.
[dove][yellow heart][yellow sun]

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(85804120018102) On Homemaking

Hey, thanks for being here.

[Playing: Anywhere – 112]

I’ve probably spoken about this a hundred times already and if you’re tired of reading or hearing about it… please move on. But I’m going to be writing about Homemaking in this piece.

So my children have entered into the school system kinda full-time (I still pick up the girls and have lunch at home together – Too precious to let that one go just yet, and plus I cannot seem to explain to our financial Advisor (Me) why spending $45 or something a month on Lunch Program is necessary).

[Playing: Gimme Some More – Busta Rhymes]

This gives me from 9AM-11AM to fill in with something. 11-11:35ish is time for washing dishes from breakfast and cooking/preparing lunch. 11:40 – 11:50 is the time I leave the house to walk to the school to pick up the children.
From about 1:05 – 3:00PM, is writing time for me (since Oct. 1/2018… lets see how long this lasts).

So… on Homemaking.

It seems to me based on some of the intentionally and not intentionally ignorant comments I receive, people are under to impression that Homemakers have so much time on their hands and they don’t do anything.

I am learning to not be so affected by these ignorant comments. I understand that these are coming from people who OBVIOUSLY have not spent their days FULL-TIME raising little ones at home. It’s all good. #NoHardFeelings ๐Ÿ™‚ To each and their own.

I did some brainstorming yesterday…or was it this morning… not sure.. I just remember jotting down in one of my books a list of “Relevent Knowledge for Building a Balanced, Healthy, and Engaged Home”. Here’s what I came up with (to which I know there are more): HOUSEBUILDING & INTERIOR DECORATING; HOUSEKEEPING; CULINARY ARTS & BARTENDING; PARENTING; CHILD CARE; EDUCATION; FINANCE; SPIRITUALITY; PHILOSPHY; BUSINESS; THEOLOGY; TECHNOLOGY; PSYCHOLOGY; POLITICS; LAW & ENFORCEMENT; MEDICINE; HOMEOPATHY; CULTURE; SOCIOLOGY; MUSIC; PERFORMING ARTS; PHYSICAL THERAPY; ATHLETICISM; GARDENING; and so much more.

How do I know this? It’s because I spent the last 6 years trying to navigate through it. All my reading material and reflections fit in the listed categories.

As a Homemaker, you gotta be everything, know everything, be everywhere, and ensure you’re 110% to provide good service and care to your family.
I liken the role of Homemaker to being like God…read the Bible, you’ll understand.

And that is why the most important thing I’ve learned here at Home, is to PLACE GOD OVER EVERYTHING.

And that’s my shpeel about Homemaking.

[Playing: Temptations – 2Pac]

I acknowledge Creator – without Him/Her/It nothing is; I acknowledge the Canadian and Treaty 1 soil I and my people have been allowed entry and resources to live and prosper; I acknowledge our Elders who made their choices to leave their Motherland, sacrificed many aspects of their lives told and untold, and aimed to give the next generation better opportunities than they had; I acknowledge our various Peers from past and present who have taught us lessons, shown us skills, and provided us with Good Company; I acknowledge the growing generations after us who look to us for guidance, knowledge, and example – may you find and do what is GOoD.

Thanks for reading.

Jen.
[dove][yellow heart][yellow sun]

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(62634120018102) What Is This?

What Is This?

 

I’ve been asked that before. What is this?

[Playing: Party Up – DMX]

Well, simply put, it’s a public outlet that shares pieces of my INTJ self.

The Self these days come in so many forms, shared in so many ways… that it really is difficult to summate a Self in one sentence.

I once came across this piece of media:

Japanese saying about faces

I find it exposing a truth that I’m familiar with.

[Playing: Back To Life – Soul II Soul, Caron Wheeler]

Let’s expose myself first.

I can say I do have a face that I show the world…especially new and unfamiliar environments. I can also admit that I have “a face” that various friends and family see and know. And yes, I do have “a face” that Hubby and the girls know and see everyday… and that’s the one that’s closest to how I truly am.

This here, what you’re reading right now, is also a “face”-form that I believe is the closest to who I am.

My difficulty and challenge is remaining aligned and courageous enough to keep all theses faces…ONE.

Now before you leave, Dear Reader, out of fear and disgust that I’ve just revealed some faces, understand that many others have these too. And it’s becoming very evident and prevalent in the mainstream medias. So be mindful.

[Playing: Honey – Mariah Carey]

So going back to the question What Is This?

 

Just pieces of Jen…J.

 

I acknowledge Creator – without Him/Her/It nothing is; I acknowledge the Canadian and Treaty 1 soil I and my people have been allowed entry and resources to live and prosper; I acknowledge our Elders who made their choices to leave their Motherland, sacrificed many aspects of their lives told and untold, and aimed to give the next generation better opportunities than they had; I acknowledge our various Peers from past and present who have taught us lessons, shown us skills, and provided us with Good Company; I acknowledge the growing generations after us who look to us for guidance, knowledge, and example – may you find and do what is GOoD.

 

Thanks for being here.

 

Jen.

[dove][yellow heart][yellow sun]

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05222020018102

Dear Reader,

Jen, here.

I have something to share.

It’s a piece I had created here at the comfort and safety of my home… as the kiddies sleep.

I must let you know though, this piece is rough; very rough. If you’re expecting a CBC, Global, New York Times, Winnipeg Free Press- type article, you’re not gonna get that.

What you will get is… authenticity, silliness, and something built and shared on faith.

I’ve decided to share this unedited version because (1) I feel like it; (2) I wanted to demonstrate a true part of the creative process; and (3) my resources of human, money, and time are very limited. So I strongly encourage True Christian positivity when going through this piece.

So before I share it, I would like to acknowledge the following:

I acknowledge Creator – without Him/Her/It, nothing is; I acknowledge the Canadian and Treaty 1 soil, I and my people have been allowed entry and resources to live and prosper; I acknowledge our Elders who made their choices to leave their Motherland, sacrificed many aspects of their lives told and untold, and aimed to give the next generation better opportunities than they had; I acknowledge our various Peers from past and present who have taught us lessons, shown us skills, and provided us with Good Company; I acknowledge the growing generations who look to us for guidance, knowledge, and example – may you find and do what is GOoD.

Dear Reader, here it is:


#56 of “Monkey Brain – Part II”

It’s been a long while since I’ve written in here. But to you reading this, it’s just been one page. But for me the person writing, it’s been two months.

Time

I watched the trailer for the Quincy documentary on Netflix today and he stated (not in these exact words) that we have 26000 days to live and he’s going to push each one. This made me think “hey, does this apply to me?”

Let’s do the math if, you nerd, haven’t already calculated it. Twenty-six days divided by 365 days is … calculating … 71.23 years! 70 years!

They say (I don’t have a proper and reputable source for this) with the improvement of technology and knowledge of our human physical bodies, the human life span is reaching to the 80s (not the decade, but the number of years).

Where am I going with this again? [Yes, I am high…go ahead, arrest me ;)]

Ok, 71 years… or 80 years…there was a period of time when I wanted to make it to 100… but now that I’m writing this out … I don’t think I want to make it that long… That’s a fucking long time!

At that point, based on the growing generation that I’m seeing now… I don’t know if I should be trusting on that generation to care for my very slow and brittle and possibly forgetful physical body.

So… how many years is it gonna be?

Just got distracted by my music… #currentlistening “Walk Da Talk” – Walking on Water… I’m distracted.

So how many years is it gonna be? If I’m thirty something right now, and my children are in elementary, what of my children and my husband would I like to see? How old would I like to help my elders get to?

I have to be honest, I am high. I am so distracted by this “New Each Day” by Walking on Water that I don’t remember what I’m even writing about anymore.

This sounds so very 80s. and very amateurist… but I appreciate the courage of the artist(s) who published this piece of art.

Blasted… kinda …

Okay I cannot keep doing this… I don’t think creating a new playlist is a good idea when I’m elevated…[bankcommercial][bank commercial][bankcommercial]

[playing: We Control the Dice – Mantronix]

26000 days. Let’s say I make it up to 40000 days. 40 like the very significant number in the bible. What will 40000 days look like? 109 years! That’s a lot of time. Within a forty thousand day life span what’s that in relation to a family tree?

I don’t want to do the math [playing… Meant to be (Ft. Florida Georgia Line) Bebe Rexha] … playing [Close (Radio Edit) by Marvin Sapp]

Hey.. Dear Reader, how’s your family doing? How are you doing? How are doing with all those goals? Have you been able to cry it out? Scream it out? Run it out? How’s the changing of habits going? How ’bout the partnership? How are the children? How are your finances? How’s your relationship with God? Are you still lit in there? Or has the fire burning in your furnace gone out?

Dear Reader, if I have hurt you in the past or didn’t live up to an expectation that you had of me…I pray for your not-having-hard-feelings :). And if you do have the hard feelings, please go visit your closest dispensary and tell them you are experiencing feelings of hate, jealousy, and rage. I trust they will help ease those. ๐Ÿ™‚ ๐Ÿ™‚ ๐Ÿ™‚

10/17 is on it’s way here in the Canadian and Treaty One Land. As John Arbuthnot, of Delta 9, stated on the Sunday Panel at the Winnipeg Cannabis & Hemp Expo held at the RBC Convention Centre, “We have the chance to make it right.”

I agree.

[Playing: Don’t Apologize – Cheryl Fortune]

Thanks for being Dear Reader. May His Peace be with you.

[dove][yellow heart][yellow sun]

[Playing: Listen – Marvin Sapp]


 

So how was it?!? I have to tell you that I’ve been training my brain not to be so critical of the self, so if I were to answer this question…

… I’ll just leave it to you to answer. ๐Ÿ™‚

 

Anyway, that’s enough sharing for this INTJ. I gotta get to sleep.

 

Thanks again.

Jen

[dove][yellow heart][yellow sun]

 

[playing: For Your Glory – Tasha Cobbs]

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#50 of Monkey Brain – Part II

I don’t know where to begin…

I feel defeated. I feel like this has happened before. I feel like “see I listened, and then this is what I get?”

This tells me … the world ain’t healthy, Dawg!

And… I need to keep fighting.

A kid died on Sunday. He took his own life. His step-dad (I presume) wrote and posted this heart-wrenching piece on Facebook that a family-member of mine shared that I ended up reading and being moved by.

So moved… that I wrote a “comment.”

Now, I am an INTJ. I know that it would have been the “smarter” and “safer” road to just read, possibly send a condolence to this fellow, and move on. But not only am a I an INTJ, I am a Guided Christian who is open to Creator (when some of my own peoples are not…) which have led me to become a Mother, a Wife of a MB Government Health Care Facility Employee, a Homemaker, a Volunteer Crisis Counsellor, a Nathanaelite, and many other titles. And taking those roles, especially Guided Christian, seriously, I have been guided to take a road that is far from “smart” or “safe.”

So I had to share the message that I was compelled to share.

http://klinic.mb.ca/in-person-counselling/suicide-postvention-education-awareness-and-knowledge-speak/ … because this “voice”

… whatever it is that I wrote (not gonna quote it, but if you want to read it, go do some investigating on Facebook).

I don’t know what else to write. I’ve kinda gotten lost in my head… because really…

all I wanted to do or was guided to do was to share my voice. And contrary to what an avatar wrote about there being “zero resources;” there ARE resources. Being open and receptive and respectful and hopeful and kind and not ready to push the responsibilities on someone else… are must-haves. Oh they can’t help me the way I expect to be helped… is not part of the solution… but really adds to the problem.

That adds and creates the mental illness, you know.

I didn’t mean for what I shared to be offensive. I didn’t mean for it to be taken with sarcasm. I was compelled to respond to “zero resources” and to send my real genuine prayers to another hurting family (which I must add, I really did pray for Gabriel during my evening prayer). It was definitely not meant to incite a response that implies me being “tone deaf” and hard of reading “if you read it carefully” [I’m not sure if those were your actual words (thinking emoji) and if you were actually and purposefully implying something not-kind]. I only meant to do His direction.

So let me share my “voice” again, as a Guided Christian, a Mother, a Wife of a MB Government Health Care Facility Employee, a Homemaker, a Volunteer Crisis Counsellor, and a Nathanaelite:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vdB-8eLEW8g

 

 

 

[(dove)(yellow heart)(smiley Sun)]

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#44 of “Monkey Brain 2018”

I’m feeling a bit scattered. So… when that happens I turn to a number of my “unscattering self” tools; one of which is to write.

In this piece, I will try to “unscatter” myself by releasing my excess or undesirable monkey brain energy… so this Mom can get on with her day!

1. The later half of my day yesterday wasn’t very good. I was on this low…even though earlier on the day, it was the opposite.

2. I have a 7th birthday to plan and… I was overwhelmed by the idea of having to please people and not hurt anyone’s feelings by not inviting them or not sticking with tradition.

3. … I forgot.

I guess my brain’s already moved on to the AWESOME… such as:

A. Typically when I’m starting to travel on the Dark Road, it would take me maybe more than a week to realize I have to turn my car around. But… this time, it’s … I guess… a day.

B. For B – my first born. She got this idea to have a pool party and I think it’s gonna be fun. I am reminded why I went this way anyway and that is this: When I look back to my own 7th birthday party, I naturally remember getting my hair pulled back sooo tight into an updo that it hurt my face. I was a completely miserable kid… never really remembering who was there and what the whole hullabaloo was about… I do remember the food and I guess people were happy to be there. But me… I was pinched by my elders to keep a smile on my face that day! I say, quality over quantity and… what’s realistic over over-the-top when it comes to parties for me.

C. These new two apps I’ve been using for the past three weeks now have, I believe, contributed to my faster turn-around time. One has kept me keeping up with not the kardashians but good morning habits such as drinking water, exercising, and eating a good breakfast. The second app has helped me with my exercises.

D. Which brings me to this: I’ve kept up with my goal of running/walking/jogging/plogging for this month. I’m at 16.42 out of 50 KM. The big persons in our home have been able to keep up with our Lenten Intentions… really. We’ve passed our halfway mark. There’s been no social media for one and daily gym visits and no smoking. There’s been no smoking and no asshole-iness. There’s also been no wrath, no Spotify, and regular exercises.

E. The sun is brightly shining down on our newly-blanketed-in-white land.

Last night was dark, for me, and I almost accepted that I was “sick.” But this morning, God indicated to me “It’s all G” ๐Ÿ˜‰ and to give it to Him… For this Mommy Monkey Brain… sometimes I just forget.

So Dear Reader, it’s not too late to join in on the Time of Lenten Intentions. For the next 20 days, how will you go into the desert and fight the temptations as Jesus did? Or as Archbishop Gagnon had talked about this past Sunday, how will you “cleanse the temple”?

Unscattered. ๐Ÿ™‚ ๐Ÿ™‚ ๐Ÿ™‚ ๐Ÿ™‚ ๐Ÿ™‚

Sh’ma Yisrael adonai eloheinu adonai echad.

โค Jen +:)

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#42 of “Monkey Brain 2018”

For a person like myself, it really is a steep uphill climb.

How does a mother, wife and homemaker make sure (1) she’s got all of those home roles balanced, (2) make sure she’s fit and looking good, (3) make a living, and (4) do it all without jeopardizing her morals, beliefs and integrity?

To many that is an IMPOSSIBLE feat. You just cannot have it all.

I agree that I can’t have it all. That would be just so greedy of me. I can’t be present to all my “friends'” gatherings. Nor can I make it to my ever-growing family member’s celebrations. I can’t go to so and so’s outings. For us, our Home’s Department of Public Relations…has really felt our conservative cuts.

I do not however believe that the balance is NOT impossible. It takes Purpose, Discipline, Faith and continued learning (with the occasional break) to achieve the balance, maintain the balance and move forward to progression.

The reason I write this is this: I need to empty this Mommy Monkey Brain… seriously.

I just spent the last couple hours finishing up a 5-year calendar for our HOME’s Department of Finance. It’s somethin’ I tell you.

When I was making this, I had moments that made me feel anxious and sad. Why? I made boxes for every day for the next 5 years… and it crossed my mind that: (1) who knows if I’m gonna even see all these day? (2) one of these days will highly likely represent the end of life date for someone (or a few) who I know; and (3)…I forgot, lol.

I grew up with leaders who lived day by day by day by day. This resulted in awesome family trips and large and frequent family parties but…. regular late-bill payments or even no bill payments which led us to either having things cut off, taken away, or … having to move. That instability I cannot do for this part of the next generation that I’m responsible for leading. I just cannot!

So when I was drawing this 5-year calendar up… I really felt it was unchartered territories because my elders didn’t explicitly show me this… it was education and my life experience that did. It’s a new thing for me. Thus… a little nerve-wracking.

The other side of me though indicates that.. this is only good; focus on the good. This 5-year calendar will help me and my partner get a visual of when monies are leaving out of our home and when monies are coming in. As well, it gives me, the INTJ, a bigger picture than 30 days. (Oh how I love big pictures… it brings me meaning and thus understanding of purpose). In a way, this is a part of our Life Map.

Anyway, this Mommy Monkey brain is almost done expelling excess energy. I would like to leave you, Dear Reader, with a quote I had caught at the end of the movie Darkest Hour (2017):

churchill quote

Keep climbing.

โค Jen +:)

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Misconstrued

I was going through my feed and I came across a post from a profile I’ve been quite interested in.

I really liked how this guy’s profile presented his work upward. It really looked like he worked.

You see, I’m writing right now to let out the “nugget” I have that’s been blocking the free-flowingness of my spirit. It has something to do with this particular profile and his last post.

I haven’t commented in anything since I re-entered into the Realm of Social Media. But today when I saw that post, my heart almost jumped out of my chest (which has been an indication to me from THE Guide to do something).

Backstory

When I was little, I remember getting that same feeling…heart beating so hard it felt like it was gonna come out of my body… that I revealed something really wrong that was happening in the “home” of my childhood. Following my beating heart led to a series of very scary changes that I, for a very long time, beat myself down for. Now that I’ve grown and am a parent (and still continue to flourish), I’ve come to this understanding that when my heart beats that hard, it’s God knocking; action must be taken and have faith that only Good comes.

ย 
So… when the knocking happened, I could not resist but open my heart’s door (who am I to deny a calling greater than I?).

It led me to do the following:
1. find model-in-question’s profile and unfollow
2. find guy’s profile and unfollow
3. comment on post that sparked my heart to knock: “๐Ÿ’ฌ misconstrued ๐Ÿค”; ya lost me on this one”

Explaining That Comment

As I said, I really liked this guy (even though I’ve never met him). I was thrilled when I noticed his new brand. I thought to myself, “YES! We need more of these messages!”

I saw a lady wearing one of his branded hats at our Church and I contemplated purchasing one for myself.

But today’s post gave me my answer.

Yes, I know, let me address it. You’re gonna think I’m a hater. You’re gonna conclude that I’m some miserable mother who’d love to be on the other side. Or you may think, I just don’t know what I’m talking about.

And to me that’s normal. I only challenge you to carefully examine why you’re feeling and thinking that way and really put some thought into what it is my knocking heart is trying to share with you.

Message to Profile Owner

The model you chose to advertise your brand is notorious for perpetuating the Sin of Lust. Think about it.

This tells me that the owner of this brand may have misconstrued the public’s (especially His serious followers) understanding of the word.

Or the owner is deliberately or hopefully unknowingly, mutilating the word that’s supposed to be associated with Virtue.

The issue here is not that I’m some Super-Righteous Know-It-All-who-seems-to-have-a-vendetta-against- appear-to-be-successful-Beings (coz I don’t and I’m not).. the issue is a matter of Principle & Integrity.

There are about over 100K minds/spirits who have the potential to see this image. Some are parents to children. Some are children.

Is it really good for the growing generation (as well as the generation who are parents to children) to receive the message that Sex-Sells & Sainthood go together?

Please help me believe y’all aren’t wolves in sheeps clothing… or that y’all are not false prophets. Please. ๐Ÿ˜ข

๐Ÿ™๐Ÿป๐Ÿ™๐Ÿป๐Ÿ™๐Ÿป๐Ÿ™๐Ÿป๐Ÿ™๐Ÿป๐Ÿ™๐Ÿป๐Ÿ™๐Ÿป๐Ÿ™๐Ÿป๐Ÿ™๐Ÿป๐Ÿ™๐Ÿป
๐Ÿ™๐Ÿป๐Ÿ™๐Ÿป๐Ÿ™๐Ÿป๐Ÿ™๐Ÿป๐Ÿ™๐Ÿป๐Ÿ™๐Ÿป๐Ÿ™๐Ÿป๐Ÿ™๐Ÿป๐Ÿ™๐Ÿป๐Ÿ™๐Ÿป
๐Ÿ™๐Ÿป๐Ÿ™๐Ÿป๐Ÿ™๐Ÿป๐Ÿ™๐Ÿป๐Ÿ™๐Ÿป๐Ÿ™๐Ÿป๐Ÿ™๐Ÿป๐Ÿ™๐Ÿป๐Ÿ™๐Ÿป๐Ÿ™๐Ÿป
๐Ÿ™๐Ÿป๐Ÿ™๐Ÿป๐Ÿ™๐Ÿป๐Ÿ™๐Ÿป๐Ÿ™๐Ÿป๐Ÿ™๐Ÿป๐Ÿ™๐Ÿป๐Ÿ™๐Ÿป๐Ÿ™๐Ÿป๐Ÿ™๐Ÿป
๐Ÿ™๐Ÿป๐Ÿ™๐Ÿป๐Ÿ™๐Ÿป๐Ÿ™๐Ÿป๐Ÿ™๐Ÿป๐Ÿ™๐Ÿป๐Ÿ™๐Ÿป๐Ÿ™๐Ÿป๐Ÿ™๐Ÿป๐Ÿ™๐Ÿป
๐Ÿ™๐Ÿป๐Ÿ™๐Ÿป๐Ÿ™๐Ÿป๐Ÿ™๐Ÿป๐Ÿ™๐Ÿป๐Ÿ™๐Ÿป๐Ÿ™๐Ÿป๐Ÿ™๐Ÿป๐Ÿ™๐Ÿป๐Ÿ™๐Ÿป
๐Ÿ™๐Ÿป๐Ÿ™๐Ÿป๐Ÿ™๐Ÿป๐Ÿ™๐Ÿป๐Ÿ™๐Ÿป๐Ÿ™๐Ÿป๐Ÿ™๐Ÿป๐Ÿ™๐Ÿป๐Ÿ™๐Ÿป๐Ÿ™๐Ÿป
๐Ÿ™๐Ÿป๐Ÿ™๐Ÿป๐Ÿ™๐Ÿป๐Ÿ™๐Ÿป๐Ÿ™๐Ÿป๐Ÿ™๐Ÿป๐Ÿ™๐Ÿป๐Ÿ™๐Ÿป๐Ÿ™๐Ÿป๐Ÿ™๐Ÿป
๐Ÿ™๐Ÿป๐Ÿ™๐Ÿป๐Ÿ™๐Ÿป๐Ÿ™๐Ÿป๐Ÿ™๐Ÿป๐Ÿ™๐Ÿป๐Ÿ™๐Ÿป๐Ÿ™๐Ÿป๐Ÿ™๐Ÿป๐Ÿ™๐Ÿป
๐Ÿ™๐Ÿป๐Ÿ™๐Ÿป๐Ÿ™๐Ÿป๐Ÿ™๐Ÿป๐Ÿ™๐Ÿป๐Ÿ™๐Ÿป๐Ÿ™๐Ÿป๐Ÿ™๐Ÿป๐Ÿ™๐Ÿป๐Ÿ™๐Ÿป
๐Ÿ•Š๐Ÿ•Š๐Ÿ•Š๐Ÿ•Š๐Ÿ•Š๐Ÿ•Š๐Ÿ•Š๐Ÿ•Š๐Ÿ•Š๐Ÿ•Š
โ˜ฎโ˜ฎโ˜ฎโ˜ฎโ˜ฎโ˜ฎโ˜ฎโ˜ฎโ˜ฎโ˜ฎ
๐Ÿ’›๐Ÿ’›๐Ÿ’›๐Ÿ’›๐Ÿ’›๐Ÿ’›๐Ÿ’›๐Ÿ’›๐Ÿ’›๐Ÿ’›

Sh’ma Yisarel adonai eloheinu adonai echad.

๐Ÿ’›Jen๐Ÿค“โ˜ฎ

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BOTTLE-OPENER AFTER WINNIPEG’S TOWN HALL WITH JUSTIN TRUDEAU ;)

2018-02-01-00-38-14Prime Minister Justin Trudeau answering question at Town Hall in Winnipeg. (Jen Jay/smileyfacelife.com)

What an eye-opener… or more like a bottle-opener? (I’ll explain that further later…)

I attended the Justin Trudeau Town Hall Meeting held at the Max Bell Centre at the University of Manitoba this evening. I arrived at 5PM and waited 45 minutes to get to coat check in a line that went all the way to the hall where the Kinesiology Office is located.

Then there was a wait of an hour and a half before Mr. Trudeau came out.

In this piece, I am going to save you the details of the questions of those in attendance and the details of Justin Trudeau’s answers (you can refer to the various news outlets for that). What I will be focusing on is the type of questions that were asked and who it was asked by in attempts to give you a mental picture of who’s voices and concerns were heard today. I will end with my own conclusions and reflections about how this experience was an eye-opener and bottle-opener.

TYPES OF QUESTIONS AND WHO ASKED THEM

  1. Bullying & Workplace Bullying (specifically Canada Post) – asked by middle age, Caucasian, male
  2. Health, poverty, and something else (it was a convoluted question) – asked by older-middle aged, Caucasian, female
  3. Extinction of “native plants and animals” – asked by grade school, asian, male

(In the middle of Mr. Trudeau answering the third question, female appearing to be of First Nation background began yelling at Trudeau from the crowd… at which point Mr. Trudeau tried to calmly explain to her that he was answering a child’s question… to which she continued to yell… she exited… after police almost had to escort her out… crowd cheered.)

  1. Specific immigration question asking for help in uniting East Indian husband with East Indian wife in Canada – asked by East Indian Female in her mid 30s – mid 40s.
  2. Immigration question about being able to bring parents – asked by Middle Eastern Male in his 40s.
  3. Specific LGBTTQ question asking for help in stopping the deportation of an individual to Nigeria – asked by late 30s, Caucasian, female.
  4. Russia Hacking Systems – asked by 20-something, male, European/Metis in appearance, English-speaking
  5. Inquiry to Missing & Murdered Indigenous Girls and Women – asked by high school student female, appearing to be Metis
  6. Pardon for Cannabis Traffickers and thoughts about “Justin Truedope” – asked by late 20s to 30-something, Caucasian, Male
  7. Specific Child and Family Services question – asked by 30s something female, who immigrated to Canada in 2005 from Somalia
  8. Railway & Energy – asked by male, middle age, Caucasian
  9. Aid to Yemen – asked by late 20s to 30-something, male, Middle Eastern in appearance
  10. Transparency Act of MB Chiefs – asked by 50s – 60 something, Metis, female

(A first nations male interrupts and yells from his seat about Kinder Morgan… to which Justin Trudeau calmly answers)

  1. Kinder Morgan – asked by male, First Nation, late 30s – 40s.
  2. Tuition as a Grant – asked by male, 20s, French
  3. Animal services and First nation safety – asked by female late 20s early 30s Caucasian-in-appearance
  4. Marijuana and Youth Safety – asked by female, jr high or early high school, Caucasian
  5. Peacekeeping between North Korea and the US – asked by female, jr high or early high school, Caucasian
  6. Services for those living with visual impairments – asked by male, middle age, Caucasian, visually-impaired

(A 40-something-year-old lady of First Nation in appearance starts yelling from the audience about Canada Summer Jobs Grant to which Justin Trudeau tells her he will get to her question next…)

  1. Canada Summer Jobs Grant and Women’s Rights – asked by 40-something, female, First Nation in appearance.
  2. Running Canadian Gov’t in partnership with First Nations – asked by middle age, male, who served for Canada in the Military, First Nations in appearance
  3. Specific question about Hearing-Impaired Higher Education Tuition Support – asked by later middle age, Caucasian, male
  4. Canadian Child Rights and CFS – asked by female, teen, Caucasian

 

I made it a point to note the age, sex, and cultural appearance of the questioners because:

THESE WERE THE VOICES THAT WERE REPRESENTED AT THE TOWN HALL.

Apparently, this is supposed to represent a part of Canada’s population. And… because all these people were there and were chosen to speak on the microphone…

THEY, IN PART, ARE A REPRESENTATION OF WHAT A CANADIAN IS AND WHAT A CANADIAN IS CONCERNED ABOUT.

 

To you, Dear Reader, DOES THIS REPRESENT YOU?

 

CONCLUSIONS AND REFLECTIONS

I’m a Full-Time Homemaker. I am part of the generation who’s parents immigrated to Canada in the late 80s. I AM CANADIAN… which to me, means: I am flavoured; I know and understand a bit about this culture and that culture. I behave a bit of that culture and this culture. I speak English with some influence from this culture and that culture. I can survive in the cold. And I have freedoms, rights and luxuries that many people from other developing countries only dream of having.

I also believe in BALANCE.

So when I say this experience was an eye-opener and bottle opener, I mean this:

 

My eye was opened to the vast diversity of what a Canadian looks like and sounds like and is troubled by.

This experience was a bottle-opener because ONE MUST OPEN A BOTTLE (and drink from it ๐Ÿ˜‰ ) to understand how all these voices can come AS ONE BALANCED CANADIAN!

 

Personally, I believe it starts with ONE SOURCE that we all can Understand, Love, and Trust. Next, one must be able to Understand, Love, and Trust ONE SELF. Then, he/she should try to Understand, Love, and Trust ONE ANOTHER. To follow, she/he must convey and teach Understanding, Love, and Trust to OUR YOUNG. Finally, one must Understand, Love and Trust OUR ENVIRONMENT.

 

So, I say, instead of seeking answers from Justin Trudeau to our problems, begin with GOD AND SELF.

 

#TurtleIslandFuture

 

Sh’ma Yisrael adonai eloheinu adonai echad.

โค Jen :)+

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#34 of MONKEY BRAIN

 

Before I go to bed I’d like to … hold on… I wanted to note the Scripture Readings for today, which is the 27th day of January in the year twenty-eighteen:

Luke 20.1-26

Gen 35-36

Ps 27

Jdt 4

If you are compelled to read them, PLEASE DO SO WITH OPENNESS. No point in reading scripture if Heart is hard and closed.

 

Going back to what I wanted to say before dozing off to sleepy-sleepy land… Dear Reader, understand sin entered our world before you, before your adversaries, before your adversaries’ adversaries. We’ve been all placed here because of God. We’ve all been given the gift of … ENJOYING THE FUCK OUT OF OUR DAYS HERE (that doesn’t mean for you to blow your paycheck ๐Ÿ˜‰ especially if you’ve got a beautiful growing family tree :)). Again, sin entered the world… not everyone understands this and not all days will allow you to ‘Enjoy the Fuck’ … and that’s okay, too… hang in there. Trust in the Flow of Life.

 

So let me leave you with this one:

 

Sh’ma Yisrael adonai eloheinu adonai echad.

โค Jen :)+