Let me begin by letting you into a bit of my World, my Real-Life World, that is…
It’s been over a month since my last post here. It’s also been over a month since we’ve lost a dear friend…brother…leader, among many titles, in a tragic car accident.
I’ve never lost anyone so close, so on top of being Full-Time Mom (who’s still figuring this Mom-role out), being wife (which I wanna think I’m doing pretty well at, Hubby has to attest to it 🙂 ), I am also mourning.
My situation my be considered “easy-peasy” by some of you, so please, be gentle with this Rookie :). For everyone else, here a couple passages From The Pages Of My Book. 🙂
Sept. 8, 2014, 4:25 PM CDT
Why am I still hurting? Am I being too emotional?
Here I am…working on plans for the next three months. I look to my left and I see his drawing. I look to my right and I see where he used to sit. I look in front of me and I see the album he helped put together.
I’ve never lost anyone so close before. To be honest, I’m kinda scared to lose another one.
A part of me wants to pull away from people so I don’t get too close. So in the case that they do go, it won’t hurt so bad. This feeling really sucks. Wish I could somehow take this feeling out of my system.
What’s a lady to do? I know you teach Patience & I Trust in You. So this hardship, although its quite the tough one, is just another one of those Life situations that needed to come, that needed to be experienced, and I guess, needed to be learned from.
Nobody ever said this Life was gonna be an easy one, right? So…I am hopeful. I am thankful. I trust. I will be strong.
This newly-self-discovered-introvert will continue to do her best. 🙂
Gonna ride the waves (should definitely try surfing),
So Thankful for the Gift of Today. So Thankful for Life. 🙂
A very good friend/brother had posted a picture of gifts he received that represented, as he felt, “best-looking people” :). One of those gifts was of a canvas painting of ChazB. Here is what I wrote in response to seeing this post:
Sept. 8, 2014, 11 PM CDT
When I see his name, when I hear his music, when I see his face, I cry. I still cry.
Wish I could react like the guys and bring some humour into it. But gosh, it’s hard. It still hurts.
You know…I open myself up to people. I am especially open to people who I can relate to, who I sense are good, and who I sense posses special gifts that I feel may benefit our World. I open my heart. I Love.
But when these people are taken away either by negativity (a break of trust) or permanently (by death), I hurt as much as I love. I feel pain as much as I feel joy.
Do I have to close myself? Do I have to close this heart? Do I have to…change?
I dunno…I just Trust that everything happens for a reason. This was all meant to happen. We feel and experience heartache to appreciate and cherish LOVE. It may not be what we envision it to be, but in time, it will all come together :).
Remain strong. Have Faith. Cherish the Good, Learn from the bad. Love as best as you can. It will all make sense, sometime. There is nothing that your Mind, Body, and Spirit cannot handle when all three are in line. You will get through this. And…when you do, you will be that much of a stronger, wiser, and better person.
Much Love & Continued Gratitude,
I.O. second time you got me in tears with your posts. Thank you. I have to get the tears out somehow, I guess. 🙂 Anyway, Happy Birthday again. See ya. 🙂
To You, my Reader,
Thank you for sharing your time with me. I really appreciate it.
Until next time (hopefully, sooner than a month),
Featured photo from AllPoster.