#42 of “Monkey Brain 2018”

For a person like myself, it really is a steep uphill climb.

How does a mother, wife and homemaker make sure (1) she’s got all of those home roles balanced, (2) make sure she’s fit and looking good, (3) make a living, and (4) do it all without jeopardizing her morals, beliefs and integrity?

To many that is an IMPOSSIBLE feat. You just cannot have it all.

I agree that I can’t have it all. That would be just so greedy of me. I can’t be present to all my “friends'” gatherings. Nor can I make it to my ever-growing family member’s celebrations. I can’t go to so and so’s outings. For us, our Home’s Department of Public Relations…has really felt our conservative cuts.

I do not however believe that the balance is NOT impossible. It takes Purpose, Discipline, Faith and continued learning (with the occasional break) to achieve the balance, maintain the balance and move forward to progression.

The reason I write this is this: I need to empty this Mommy Monkey Brain… seriously.

I just spent the last couple hours finishing up a 5-year calendar for our HOME’s Department of Finance. It’s somethin’ I tell you.

When I was making this, I had moments that made me feel anxious and sad. Why? I made boxes for every day for the next 5 years… and it crossed my mind that: (1) who knows if I’m gonna even see all these day? (2) one of these days will highly likely represent the end of life date for someone (or a few) who I know; and (3)…I forgot, lol.

I grew up with leaders who lived day by day by day by day. This resulted in awesome family trips and large and frequent family parties but…. regular late-bill payments or even no bill payments which led us to either having things cut off, taken away, or … having to move. That instability I cannot do for this part of the next generation that I’m responsible for leading. I just cannot!

So when I was drawing this 5-year calendar up… I really felt it was unchartered territories because my elders didn’t explicitly show me this… it was education and my life experience that did. It’s a new thing for me. Thus… a little nerve-wracking.

The other side of me though indicates that.. this is only good; focus on the good. This 5-year calendar will help me and my partner get a visual of when monies are leaving out of our home and when monies are coming in. As well, it gives me, the INTJ, a bigger picture than 30 days. (Oh how I love big pictures… it brings me meaning and thus understanding of purpose). In a way, this is a part of our Life Map.

Anyway, this Mommy Monkey brain is almost done expelling excess energy. I would like to leave you, Dear Reader, with a quote I had caught at the end of the movie Darkest Hour (2017):

churchill quote

Keep climbing.

❤ Jen +:)

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