(85804120018102) On Homemaking

Hey, thanks for being here.

I’ve probably spoken about this a hundred times already and if you’re tired of reading or hearing about it… please move on. But I’m going to be writing about Homemaking in this piece.

So my children have entered into the school system kinda full-time (I still pick up the girls and have lunch at home together – Too precious to let that one go just yet, and plus I cannot seem to explain to our financial Advisor (Me) why spending $45 or something a month on Lunch Program is necessary).

[Playing: Gimme Some More – Busta Rhymes]

This gives me from 9AM-11AM to fill in with something. 11-11:35ish is time for washing dishes from breakfast and cooking/preparing lunch. 11:40 – 11:50 is the time I leave the house to walk to the school to pick up the children.
From about 1:05 – 3:00PM, is writing time for me (since Oct. 1/2018… lets see how long this lasts).

So… on Homemaking.

It seems to me based on some of the intentionally and not intentionally ignorant comments I receive, people are under to impression that Homemakers have so much time on their hands and they don’t do anything.

I am learning to not be so affected by these ignorant comments. I understand that these are coming from people who OBVIOUSLY have not spent their days FULL-TIME raising little ones at home. It’s all good. #NoHardFeelings 🙂 To each and their own.

I did some brainstorming yesterday…or was it this morning… not sure.. I just remember jotting down in one of my books a list of “Relevent Knowledge for Building a Balanced, Healthy, and Engaged Home”. Here’s what I came up with (to which I know there are more): HOUSEBUILDING & INTERIOR DECORATING; HOUSEKEEPING; CULINARY ARTS & BARTENDING; PARENTING; CHILD CARE; EDUCATION; FINANCE; SPIRITUALITY; PHILOSPHY; BUSINESS; THEOLOGY; TECHNOLOGY; PSYCHOLOGY; POLITICS; LAW & ENFORCEMENT; MEDICINE; HOMEOPATHY; CULTURE; SOCIOLOGY; MUSIC; PERFORMING ARTS; PHYSICAL THERAPY; ATHLETICISM; GARDENING; and so much more.

How do I know this? It’s because I spent the last 6 years trying to navigate through it. All my reading material and reflections fit in the listed categories.

As a Homemaker, you gotta be everything, know everything, be everywhere, and ensure you’re 110% to provide good service and care to your family.
I liken the role of Homemaker to being like God…read the Bible, you’ll understand.

And that is why the most important thing I’ve learned here at Home, is to PLACE GOD OVER EVERYTHING.

And that’s my shpeel about Homemaking.

[Playing: Temptations – 2Pac]

I acknowledge Creator – without Him/Her/It nothing is; I acknowledge the Canadian and Treaty 1 soil I and my people have been allowed entry and resources to live and prosper; I acknowledge our Elders who made their choices to leave their Motherland, sacrificed many aspects of their lives told and untold, and aimed to give the next generation better opportunities than they had; I acknowledge our various Peers from past and present who have taught us lessons, shown us skills, and provided us with Good Company; I acknowledge the growing generations after us who look to us for guidance, knowledge, and example – may you find and do what is GOoD.

Thanks for reading.

Jen.
[dove][yellow heart][yellow sun]

(62634120018102) What Is This?

What Is This?

I’ve been asked that before. What is this?

[Playing: Party Up – DMX]

Well, simply put, it’s a public outlet that shares pieces of my INTJ self.

The Self these days come in so many forms, shared in so many ways… that it really is difficult to summate a Self in one sentence.

I once came across this piece of media:

Japanese saying about faces

I find it exposing a truth that I’m familiar with.

[Playing: Back To Life – Soul II Soul, Caron Wheeler]

Let’s expose myself first.

I can say I do have a face that I show the world…especially new and unfamiliar environments. I can also admit that I have “a face” that various friends and family see and know. And yes, I do have “a face” that Hubby and the girls know and see everyday… and that’s the one that’s closest to how I truly am.

This here, what you’re reading right now, is also a “face”-form that I believe is the closest to who I am.

My difficulty and challenge is remaining aligned and courageous enough to keep all theses faces…ONE.

Now before you leave, Dear Reader, out of fear and disgust that I’ve just revealed some faces, understand that many others have these too. And it’s becoming very evident and prevalent in the mainstream medias. So be mindful.

[Playing: Honey – Mariah Carey]

So going back to the question What Is This?

Just pieces of Jen…J.

Thanks for being here.

Jen.

[dove][yellow heart][yellow sun]

05222020018102

Dear Reader,

Jen, here.

I have something to share.

It’s a piece I had created here at the comfort and safety of my home… as the kiddies sleep.

I must let you know though, this piece is rough; very rough. If you’re expecting a CBC, Global, New York Times, Winnipeg Free Press- type article, you’re not gonna get that.

What you will get is… authenticity, silliness, and something built and shared on faith.

I’ve decided to share this unedited version because (1) I feel like it; (2) I wanted to demonstrate a true part of the creative process; and (3) my resources of human, money, and time are very limited. So I strongly encourage True Christian positivity when going through this piece.

So before I share it, I would like to acknowledge the following:

I acknowledge Creator – without Him/Her/It, nothing is; I acknowledge the Canadian and Treaty 1 soil, I and my people have been allowed entry and resources to live and prosper; I acknowledge our Elders who made their choices to leave their Motherland, sacrificed many aspects of their lives told and untold, and aimed to give the next generation better opportunities than they had; I acknowledge our various Peers from past and present who have taught us lessons, shown us skills, and provided us with Good Company; I acknowledge the growing generations who look to us for guidance, knowledge, and example – may you find and do what is GOoD.

Dear Reader, here it is:

#56 of “Monkey Brain – Part II”

It’s been a long while since I’ve written in here. But to you reading this, it’s just been one page. But for me the person writing, it’s been two months.

Time

I watched the trailer for the Quincy documentary on Netflix today and he stated (not in these exact words) that we have 26000 days to live and he’s going to push each one. This made me think “hey, does this apply to me?”

Let’s do the math if, you nerd, haven’t already calculated it. Twenty-six days divided by 365 days is … calculating … 71.23 years! 70 years!

They say (I don’t have a proper and reputable source for this) with the improvement of technology and knowledge of our human physical bodies, the human life span is reaching to the 80s (not the decade, but the number of years).

Where am I going with this again? [Yes, I am high…go ahead, arrest me ;)]

Ok, 71 years… or 80 years…there was a period of time when I wanted to make it to 100… but now that I’m writing this out … I don’t think I want to make it that long… That’s a fucking long time!

At that point, based on the growing generation that I’m seeing now… I don’t know if I should be trusting on that generation to care for my very slow and brittle and possibly forgetful physical body.

So… how many years is it gonna be?

Just got distracted by my music… #currentlistening “Walk Da Talk” – Walking on Water… I’m distracted.

So how many years is it gonna be? If I’m thirty something right now, and my children are in elementary, what of my children and my husband would I like to see? How old would I like to help my elders get to?

I have to be honest, I am high. I am so distracted by this “New Each Day” by Walking on Water that I don’t remember what I’m even writing about anymore.

This sounds so very 80s. and very amateurist… but I appreciate the courage of the artist(s) who published this piece of art.

Blasted… kinda …

Okay I cannot keep doing this… I don’t think creating a new playlist is a good idea when I’m elevated…[bankcommercial][bank commercial][bankcommercial]

[playing: We Control the Dice – Mantronix]

26000 days. Let’s say I make it up to 40000 days. 40 like the very significant number in the bible. What will 40000 days look like? 109 years! That’s a lot of time. Within a forty thousand day life span what’s that in relation to a family tree?

I don’t want to do the math [playing… Meant to be (Ft. Florida Georgia Line) Bebe Rexha] … playing [Close (Radio Edit) by Marvin Sapp]

Hey.. Dear Reader, how’s your family doing? How are you doing? How are doing with all those goals? Have you been able to cry it out? Scream it out? Run it out? How’s the changing of habits going? How ’bout the partnership? How are the children? How are your finances? How’s your relationship with God? Are you still lit in there? Or has the fire burning in your furnace gone out?

Dear Reader, if I have hurt you in the past or didn’t live up to an expectation that you had of me…I pray for your not-having-hard-feelings :). And if you do have the hard feelings, please go visit your closest dispensary and tell them you are experiencing feelings of hate, jealousy, and rage. I trust they will help ease those. 🙂 🙂 🙂

10/17 is on it’s way here in the Canadian and Treaty One Land. As John Arbuthnot, of Delta 9, stated on the Sunday Panel at the Winnipeg Cannabis & Hemp Expo held at the RBC Convention Centre, “We have the chance to make it right.”

I agree.

[Playing: Don’t Apologize – Cheryl Fortune]

Thanks for being Dear Reader. May His Peace be with you.

[dove][yellow heart][yellow sun]

[Playing: Listen – Marvin Sapp]

So how was it?!? I have to tell you that I’ve been training my brain not to be so critical of the self, so if I were to answer this question…

… I’ll just leave it to you to answer. 🙂

Anyway, that’s enough sharing for this INTJ. I gotta get to sleep.

Thanks again.

Jen

[dove][yellow heart][yellow sun]

[playing: For Your Glory – Tasha Cobbs]

#50 of Monkey Brain – Part II

I don’t know where to begin…

I feel defeated. I feel like this has happened before. I feel like “see I listened, and then this is what I get?”

This tells me … the world ain’t healthy, Dawg!

And… I need to keep fighting.

A kid died on Sunday. He took his own life. His step-dad (I presume) wrote and posted this heart-wrenching piece on Facebook that a family-member of mine shared that I ended up reading and being moved by.

So moved… that I wrote a “comment.”

Now, I am an INTJ. I know that it would have been the “smarter” and “safer” road to just read, possibly send a condolence to this fellow, and move on. But not only am a I an INTJ, I am a Guided Christian who is open to Creator (when some of my own peoples are not…) which have led me to become a Mother, a Wife of a MB Government Health Care Facility Employee, a Homemaker, a Volunteer Crisis Counsellor, a Nathanaelite, and many other titles. And taking those roles, especially Guided Christian, seriously, I have been guided to take a road that is far from “smart” or “safe.”

So I had to share the message that I was compelled to share.

http://klinic.mb.ca/in-person-counselling/suicide-postvention-education-awareness-and-knowledge-speak/ … because this “voice”

… whatever it is that I wrote (not gonna quote it, but if you want to read it, go do some investigating on Facebook).

I don’t know what else to write. I’ve kinda gotten lost in my head… because really…

all I wanted to do or was guided to do was to share my voice. And contrary to what an avatar wrote about there being “zero resources;” there ARE resources. Being open and receptive and respectful and hopeful and kind and not ready to push the responsibilities on someone else… are must-haves. Oh they can’t help me the way I expect to be helped… is not part of the solution… but really adds to the problem.

That adds and creates the mental illness, you know.

I didn’t mean for what I shared to be offensive. I didn’t mean for it to be taken with sarcasm. I was compelled to respond to “zero resources” and to send my real genuine prayers to another hurting family (which I must add, I really did pray for Gabriel during my evening prayer). It was definitely not meant to incite a response that implies me being “tone deaf” and hard of reading “if you read it carefully” [I’m not sure if those were your actual words (thinking emoji) and if you were actually and purposefully implying something not-kind]. I only meant to do His direction.

So let me share my “voice” again, as a Guided Christian, a Mother, a Wife of a MB Government Health Care Facility Employee, a Homemaker, a Volunteer Crisis Counsellor, and a Nathanaelite:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vdB-8eLEW8g

[(dove)(yellow heart)(smiley Sun)]

#44 of “Monkey Brain 2018”

I’m feeling a bit scattered. So… when that happens I turn to a number of my “unscattering self” tools; one of which is to write.

In this piece, I will try to “unscatter” myself by releasing my excess or undesirable monkey brain energy… so this Mom can get on with her day!

1. The later half of my day yesterday wasn’t very good. I was on this low…even though earlier on the day, it was the opposite.

2. I have a 7th birthday to plan and… I was overwhelmed by the idea of having to please people and not hurt anyone’s feelings by not inviting them or not sticking with tradition.

3. … I forgot.

I guess my brain’s already moved on to the AWESOME… such as:

A. Typically when I’m starting to travel on the Dark Road, it would take me maybe more than a week to realize I have to turn my car around. But… this time, it’s … I guess… a day.

B. For B – my first born. She got this idea to have a pool party and I think it’s gonna be fun. I am reminded why I went this way anyway and that is this: When I look back to my own 7th birthday party, I naturally remember getting my hair pulled back sooo tight into an updo that it hurt my face. I was a completely miserable kid… never really remembering who was there and what the whole hullabaloo was about… I do remember the food and I guess people were happy to be there. But me… I was pinched by my elders to keep a smile on my face that day! I say, quality over quantity and… what’s realistic over over-the-top when it comes to parties for me.

C. These new two apps I’ve been using for the past three weeks now have, I believe, contributed to my faster turn-around time. One has kept me keeping up with not the kardashians but good morning habits such as drinking water, exercising, and eating a good breakfast. The second app has helped me with my exercises.

D. Which brings me to this: I’ve kept up with my goal of running/walking/jogging/plogging for this month. I’m at 16.42 out of 50 KM. The big persons in our home have been able to keep up with our Lenten Intentions… really. We’ve passed our halfway mark. There’s been no social media for one and daily gym visits and no smoking. There’s been no smoking and no asshole-iness. There’s also been no wrath, no Spotify, and regular exercises.

E. The sun is brightly shining down on our newly-blanketed-in-white land.

Last night was dark, for me, and I almost accepted that I was “sick.” But this morning, God indicated to me “It’s all G” 😉 and to give it to Him… For this Mommy Monkey Brain… sometimes I just forget.

So Dear Reader, it’s not too late to join in on the Time of Lenten Intentions. For the next 20 days, how will you go into the desert and fight the temptations as Jesus did? Or as Archbishop Gagnon had talked about this past Sunday, how will you “cleanse the temple”?

Unscattered. 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂

Sh’ma Yisrael adonai eloheinu adonai echad.

❤ Jen +:)

#42 of “Monkey Brain 2018”

For a person like myself, it really is a steep uphill climb.

How does a mother, wife and homemaker make sure (1) she’s got all of those home roles balanced, (2) make sure she’s fit and looking good, (3) make a living, and (4) do it all without jeopardizing her morals, beliefs and integrity?

To many that is an IMPOSSIBLE feat. You just cannot have it all.

I agree that I can’t have it all. That would be just so greedy of me. I can’t be present to all my “friends'” gatherings. Nor can I make it to my ever-growing family member’s celebrations. I can’t go to so and so’s outings. For us, our Home’s Department of Public Relations…has really felt our conservative cuts.

I do not however believe that the balance is NOT impossible. It takes Purpose, Discipline, Faith and continued learning (with the occasional break) to achieve the balance, maintain the balance and move forward to progression.

The reason I write this is this: I need to empty this Mommy Monkey Brain… seriously.

I just spent the last couple hours finishing up a 5-year calendar for our HOME’s Department of Finance. It’s somethin’ I tell you.

When I was making this, I had moments that made me feel anxious and sad. Why? I made boxes for every day for the next 5 years… and it crossed my mind that: (1) who knows if I’m gonna even see all these day? (2) one of these days will highly likely represent the end of life date for someone (or a few) who I know; and (3)…I forgot, lol.

I grew up with leaders who lived day by day by day by day. This resulted in awesome family trips and large and frequent family parties but…. regular late-bill payments or even no bill payments which led us to either having things cut off, taken away, or … having to move. That instability I cannot do for this part of the next generation that I’m responsible for leading. I just cannot!

So when I was drawing this 5-year calendar up… I really felt it was unchartered territories because my elders didn’t explicitly show me this… it was education and my life experience that did. It’s a new thing for me. Thus… a little nerve-wracking.

The other side of me though indicates that.. this is only good; focus on the good. This 5-year calendar will help me and my partner get a visual of when monies are leaving out of our home and when monies are coming in. As well, it gives me, the INTJ, a bigger picture than 30 days. (Oh how I love big pictures… it brings me meaning and thus understanding of purpose). In a way, this is a part of our Life Map.

Anyway, this Mommy Monkey brain is almost done expelling excess energy. I would like to leave you, Dear Reader, with a quote I had caught at the end of the movie Darkest Hour (2017):

churchill quote

Keep climbing.

❤ Jen +:)

Misconstrued

I was going through my feed and I came across a post from a profile I’ve been quite interested in.

I really liked how this guy’s profile presented his work upward. It really looked like he worked.

You see, I’m writing right now to let out the “nugget” I have that’s been blocking the free-flowingness of my spirit. It has something to do with this particular profile and his last post.

I haven’t commented in anything since I re-entered into the Realm of Social Media. But today when I saw that post, my heart almost jumped out of my chest (which has been an indication to me from THE Guide to do something).

Backstory

When I was little, I remember getting that same feeling…heart beating so hard it felt like it was gonna come out of my body… that I revealed something really wrong that was happening in the “home” of my childhood. Following my beating heart led to a series of very scary changes that I, for a very long time, beat myself down for. Now that I’ve grown and am a parent (and still continue to flourish), I’ve come to this understanding that when my heart beats that hard, it’s God knocking; action must be taken and have faith that only Good comes.

So… when the knocking happened, I could not resist but open my heart’s door (who am I to deny a calling greater than I?).

It led me to do the following:
1. find model-in-question’s profile and unfollow
2. find guy’s profile and unfollow
3. comment on post that sparked my heart to knock: “💬 misconstrued 🤔; ya lost me on this one”

Explaining That Comment

As I said, I really liked this guy (even though I’ve never met him). I was thrilled when I noticed his new brand. I thought to myself, “YES! We need more of these messages!”

I saw a lady wearing one of his branded hats at our Church and I contemplated purchasing one for myself.

But today’s post gave me my answer.

Yes, I know, let me address it. You’re gonna think I’m a hater. You’re gonna conclude that I’m some miserable mother who’d love to be on the other side. Or you may think, I just don’t know what I’m talking about.

And to me that’s normal. I only challenge you to carefully examine why you’re feeling and thinking that way and really put some thought into what it is my knocking heart is trying to share with you.

Message to Profile Owner

The model you chose to advertise your brand is notorious for perpetuating the Sin of Lust. Think about it.

This tells me that the owner of this brand may have misconstrued the public’s (especially His serious followers) understanding of the word.

Or the owner is deliberately or hopefully unknowingly, mutilating the word that’s supposed to be associated with Virtue.

The issue here is not that I’m some Super-Righteous Know-It-All-who-seems-to-have-a-vendetta-against- appear-to-be-successful-Beings (coz I don’t and I’m not).. the issue is a matter of Principle & Integrity.

There are about over 100K minds/spirits who have the potential to see this image. Some are parents to children. Some are children.

Is it really good for the growing generation (as well as the generation who are parents to children) to receive the message that Sex-Sells & Sainthood go together?

Please help me believe y’all aren’t wolves in sheeps clothing… or that y’all are not false prophets. Please. 😢

🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

🕊🕊🕊🕊🕊🕊🕊🕊🕊🕊

☮☮☮☮☮☮☮☮☮☮

💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛

Sh’ma Yisarel adonai eloheinu adonai echad.

💛Jen🤓☮

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Life & Times According to Jen J.

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