I don’t know where to begin…
I feel defeated. I feel like this has happened before. I feel like “see I listened, and then this is what I get?”
This tells me … the world ain’t healthy, Dawg!
And… I need to keep fighting.
A kid died on Sunday. He took his own life. His step-dad (I presume) wrote and posted this heart-wrenching piece on Facebook that a family-member of mine shared that I ended up reading and being moved by.
So moved… that I wrote a “comment.”
Now, I am an INTJ. I know that it would have been the “smarter” and “safer” road to just read, possibly send a condolence to this fellow, and move on. But not only am a I an INTJ, I am a Guided Christian who is open to Creator (when some of my own peoples are not…) which have led me to become a Mother, a Wife of a MB Government Health Care Facility Employee, a Homemaker, a Volunteer Crisis Counsellor, a Nathanaelite, and many other titles. And taking those roles, especially Guided Christian, seriously, I have been guided to take a road that is far from “smart” or “safe.”
So I had to share the message that I was compelled to share.
… whatever it is that I wrote (not gonna quote it, but if you want to read it, go do some investigating on Facebook).
I don’t know what else to write. I’ve kinda gotten lost in my head… because really…
all I wanted to do or was guided to do was to share my voice. And contrary to what an avatar wrote about there being “zero resources;” there ARE resources. Being open and receptive and respectful and hopeful and kind and not ready to push the responsibilities on someone else… are must-haves. Oh they can’t help me the way I expect to be helped… is not part of the solution… but really adds to the problem.
That adds and creates the mental illness, you know.
I didn’t mean for what I shared to be offensive. I didn’t mean for it to be taken with sarcasm. I was compelled to respond to “zero resources” and to send my real genuine prayers to another hurting family (which I must add, I really did pray for Gabriel during my evening prayer). It was definitely not meant to incite a response that implies me being “tone deaf” and hard of reading “if you read it carefully” [I’m not sure if those were your actual words (thinking emoji) and if you were actually and purposefully implying something not-kind]. I only meant to do His direction.
So let me share my “voice” again, as a Guided Christian, a Mother, a Wife of a MB Government Health Care Facility Employee, a Homemaker, a Volunteer Crisis Counsellor, and a Nathanaelite:
[(dove)(yellow heart)(smiley Sun)]